The Marauder Chronicles
by scabberssucks
Summary: The story behind what the Marauders and Lily went through during the last of their time at Hogwarts up until the night of October 31, 1981. Rated R for sexual content and language.
1. Chapter 1: Severella

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. The brilliant beyond brilliant J.K. Rowling created all of these characters, and a lot of the plot.

Chapter 1: Severella

Sirius pressed his body up against the stone wall, praying that the suit of armor to his left was hiding him from view. He held his breath, afraid that any sound would draw Filch to him.

_Damn it, James, you always have to have the cloak_, Sirius thought bitterly. Granted it was his, but still, Sirius always seemed to get screwed over when it came to these little midnight excursions.

The pocket of Sirius's robes stirred, and a small rat poked his head out and looked up at Sirius. Sirius made a motion down the hall with his thumb, then picked up Wormtail and put him on the floor. The rat took off down the corridor, skittering into the shadows.

Sirius leaned back against the wall, waiting for Wormtail to come back with the all clear. He only had to wait a few seconds, and the rat came back. Sirius scooped him up, and Wormtail jumped into his pocket, signaling that Filch was nowhere to be found. Sirius moved quickly down the hall and ducked into the empty charms classroom.

"It's about time," came James's voice from the shadows. "We've been here 20 minutes already."

"We had a bit of a run in with Filch," Sirius explained. He pulled his wand out of his robes. "Lumos." The light from the end of the wand lit the room, and Sirius grinned at James's shadowy form. "But we got it."

James's eyes lit mischievously. "Excellent," he said. He looked eagerly at the paper bag Sirius was clutching in his hand. "It's the last thing we need, and the potion should be ready."

Sirius peered into the back of the room. He could just make out Remus's form, and he appeared to be kneeling over a cauldron.

"Hey, you want to bring that back here? I want to get this done, I've got loads of studying to do," Remus said, turning to Sirius.

"Study, shmudy," James said, rolling his eyes. "Our exam isn't even until Thursday."

Remus lifted an eyebrow. "That's tomorrow."

James looked startled, but covered it quickly. "I know that," he said as he rolled his eyes. But as soon as Remus had looked back down at the potion, James turned to Sirius. "We'd better get this done bloody fast," he muttered.

Sirius brought the bag to Remus and pulled Wormtail out of his pocket. He placed the rat on the floor, and before he knew it, Peter was standing in its place. James, Sirius and Peter peered into the cauldron. Remus pulled a jar filled with powdered unicorn horn out of the bag Sirius had handed him and put a pinch of it into the cauldron. The potion, which had been a light shade of blue, fizzed and turned a bright pink. Remus smiled, looking very pleased with himself.

"It's perfect," he said. "Now all we have to do is slip it to Snivellus somehow."

"We could put it in his morning pumpkin juice," James suggested. "That way he'll have to suffer all through the day."

"How are we gonna do that?" asked Peter.

"We can use the invisibility cloak," said Sirius. "I'll do it. I'll just go in, put the potion in when he's not looking, and the run it back up to the tower."

"Sounds good, thanks Padfoot," James said. "Now, er...we should prolly get back upstairs so Remus can study for that test…" he trailed off, strolling towards the door.

"Yeah," Peter laughed, "because we all know James did that _ages _ago."

Remus put the jar back into the bag. "Are you going to return this, or are we going to keep if for our stash?" he asked.

"We may as well keep it. Dexter won't notice if it's gone anyway," said Sirius. Their potions professor had a habit of leaving his storage closet unlocked, and the Marauders took advantage of his oblivious nature fairly regularly.

The four boys cleaned up their mess, then crept quietly out of the classroom, the invisibility cloak barely covering three of them and a rat. They had to move extra slowly through the halls in order to keep themselves hidden.

"I think I'm just going to go to sleep," said James when the four of them arrived back in their dormitory. "All that potion brewing exhausted me." He gave a dramatic yawn.

"You didn't do any brewing," laughed Sirius. "If I remember correctly, it was Moony here who did all the work."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Story of my life," he said, but he grinned.

"Aren't you going to study?" asked Peter, looking slightly concerned. "The exam is first thing in the morning."

"I'll do fine," said James, shrugging. "After all, in order to do well, don't I need a good night's rest?"

Sirius laughed. "How you ever became Head Boy is beyond me, Prongs," he said.

James grinned. "It's because I'm intelligent, responsible, caring and an overall model for the students," he recited.

Sirius snorted. "I think if the students in the school modeled themselves after you, Hogwarts would fall apart within a week," he said.

"Damn straight," said James proudly. He had changed into his pajamas by now and was climbing into bed. "But I guarantee I ace tomorrow's test."

The next morning, the four boys awoke and dressed for the day. James, Remus and Peter walked down to breakfast together, followed closely by an invisible Sirius. Under the cloak, Sirius was holding a vile of the pink potion they had brewed the night before.

When they arrived at the Great Hall, Sirius crept over to the Slytherin table while the other three went to sit with the Gryffindors. Luckily, Snape was already seated, and was drinking pumpkin juice from his goblet. Sirius walked up behind him, and when Snape turned his head to talk to the guy next to him, he quickly poured the potion into the goblet. Looking around to make sure none of the Slytherins had seen his hand, he moved swiftly from the Hall. When he was out, he broke into a run, wanting to make it back in time to see the results.

Meanwhile, at the Gryffindor table, James, Remus, and Peter were discussing their plot.

"Do you think he got it done?" asked Remus, looking over James's shoulder to the Slytherin table. So far, Snape looked normal.

"Of course he did," said James confidently. "Padfoot wouldn't let us down. Do you know how long it takes to work?"

"Not sure," replied Remus. "I wouldn't think more than a few minutes."

The three of them continued to keep an eye on Snape, but after five minutes, they saw no change.

"I wonder if something went wrong?" said Peter, looking worried.

"Oh yee of little faith," said a voice from behind him. The three boys looked up and saw that Sirius had returned. "Do you really think I couldn't manage to slip Snivellus a little potion? Honestly, you must not know me at all."

"So you did it, then?" asked Remus.

"Of course." He looked over at the Slytherin table. "Has he taken a drink yet?"

"Yeah," replied James. "We've just been waiting."

"Well good, then I didn't miss the action," said Sirius, grinning as he sat down. "I think we're in for a good show here, gentlemen."

Suddenly, a yell came from the Slytherin table. The four marauders looked up quickly, and each of their faces broke into identical grins. Snape had jumped up from his seat, wearing a very shocked expression. The entire hall erupted into laughter. Snape's robes were bulging at his chest as though he had just grown breasts. Everyone in the hall was pointing, and Snape's face grew very red.

"What the-?" he started, but hadn't finished before he clapped his hand over his mouth. His voice, normally very oily sounding, was now high pitched and girlish.

Everyone in the hall continued to laugh, and Snape looked over at the Gryffindor table, where the Marauders were laughing harder than anyone. Snape stumbled back from the Slytherin table, glaring at the Gryffindors. He stormed forward towards their table, his robes billowing behind him, wand out and ready.

"You," he growled as he reached the Marauders. "You gits did this."

"Nice tits, Severella," snorted James through his laughter.

"You bastard," spat Snape. He raised his wand, but Sirius was too quick.

"Expelliarmus!" he cried, and Snape's wand flew into the air and landed in front of the Head Table.

"What is going on?" came the voice of Professor McGonagall from the Head Table. She marched down and picked up Snape's wand. She handed it back to him, then looked at the marauders. "Who is responsible for this?" she asked.

"Responisble for what?" asked James innocently.

"Mr. Snape's...well, what has just happened to Mr. Snape. Who is responsible?" McGonagall's eyes were blazing.

"You mean he hasn't always had boobs?" asked Sirius.

Snape's face reddened again and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"What's wrong, Severus?" James asked. "Don't you like them?"

"They're niiiice, eh?" Sirius said, waggling his eyebrows. "Probably the first ones you've touched, I imagine."

"I'm not finding you very amusing, Mr. Black," McGonagall said sharply. "Now I want you to tell me who did this, and I want to know now."

"How should we know?" asked James. "We were at our table, just eating our wonderful breakfast, and Snape jumped up and started yelling at us. We didn't do anything wrong."

McGonagall turned to Snape. "Mr. Snape, do you have any idea who would have done this?"

"Them!" Snape squeaked, and Sirius snickered at his voice.

"Do you have any proof?" asked McGonagall.

Snape's eyes narrowed. "No," he said quietly.

"Well, get to the hospital wing, then," she said. She turned to the Marauders. "If we have any more trouble from you, any at all, you'll be sent straight to the headmaster." With that, Professor McGonagall followed Snape out of the Great Hall.

James grinned at his friends. "Once again, we get off scott free," he said, leaning back looking very satisfied.

"I was worried," said Peter, the color coming back to his face. "I thought we were caught for sure."

Sirius snickered. "C'mon, Wormtail, do we ever get caught?" He took a bite of his waffle. "That was great. I never get tired of harassing that slimy git."

"We should get to class," Remus said, standing up. "Our exam starts in 20 minutes, and I know the rest of you didn't get any studying done last night."

It was true; Sirius and Peter had both followed James and gone to bed shortly after getting back to the dormitories.

James waved his hand in the air casually. "I already know all that rubbish," he said. "I don't need to look at it."

Remus frowned, then turned and left. Wormtail looked anxiously after him, then got up and followed.

When they had gone, Sirius resumed eating his breakfast. "So, Prongs," he said through a mouthful of food. "How are things going with the fair Miss Evans?"

James looked down the table at Lily. She glanced up at him and he smiled at her, and she lifted an eyebrow at him. He winked, and she smiled back.

"Just fine," James answered. He was still proud of himself for finally convincing Lily to go out with him. They had been together for three months now, and she finally seemed to have fallen for his charms. "Lily and I are actually going to her house for the holidays," said James.

Sirius raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You're not going home?" he asked, looking slightly put out.

"Well, I'll be at home, yeah," James replied reassuringly. He knew Sirius was planning on going to his house for Christmas. He didn't want to stay at Hogwarts alone, and he definitely wasn't going home. "I'm just going to Lily's for a night...two, tops."

"Oh," said Sirius, looking relieved. "Well that's cool...you gonna stay in her room?"

James grinned. "Well, I'm hoping so," he replied. "But if not, I can always pack my cloak."

"Smart man," Sirius said, glancing down the table at Lily. "She gonna go for that?"

"You'd be surprised what she goes for," said James, winking.

Sirius grinned. "Lucky you," he said. He looked at his watch. "We should probably get going though...bloody exam."

"Yeah, but it's the last one, and then we're free until next term," said James. "And we get to go home tomorrow."

"_You_ get to go home tomorrow," said Sirius darkly, standing up.

James looked sympathetic. "My home is your home, you know that Padfoot."

Sirius nodded darkly, but didn't reply, and the two boys walked to class in silence.

A/N: I'm going to try to update this story as much as possible, but be patient with me please! I'm in college and I have lots of homework and a job. However, reviews just may get me moving faster, so please do so!


	2. Chapter 2: An Evening with the Potters

Disclaimer: Everything in this story belongs to J.K. Rowling. I'm just using it as an outlet for my urge to write.

_Chapter 2: An Evening with the Potters_

Later that night, after they had finished their exams and packed their bags, James went down to the common room to find Lily. When he got there, she was sitting in the armchair nearest the fire. He stopped on the steps to watch her. The firelight in her hair made it glow, and it always made him stare. He'd never tell anyone this, but it amazed him sometimes how damn lucky he was that she had agreed to put up with him.

"Hey, Lils," he said. He walked across the common room towards her.

She turned and smiled at him. "Hey," she said, watching him as he sat in the armchair next to her. "So...how long exactly will Snape be so well endowed?"

James grinned. "Dunno," he replied. "It's not permanent...at least, I don't think it is."

Lily laughed. "So, did you ask your parents yet?"

"Yeah," James replied. "They said it's cool. You can stay Sunday, and then I'll go to your house Monday."

"Okay," Lily said. "Oh, and I got an owl from my mum today. She said I'm supposed to invite Sirius, Remus, and Peter for dinner on Monday."

"Great," said James. "Sirius should be happy...I think he was a little wary about me leaving him at my house."

"He's not going home?" Lily asked, biting her lip.

James shook his head. "No," he replied. "I doubt he'll ever go back...it got really bad right before he left. He hasn't heard anything from his family since July."

"That's too bad," said Lily. "Well, he's very welcome to stay at my house if he likes. I'm sure my parents would be happy to have him."

"Thanks, Love," James said, standing and stretching. "Well, I think I'm gonna head to bed." He leaned over and kissed her lips. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

She smiled. "Okay...good night."

When James got back upstairs, he told the rest of the guys about the invitation to Lily's.

"Hey, that's cool," said Remus, looking excited. "I've never been in a Muggle home before."

"Are you sure it's okay if I stay?" asked Sirius. "I don't want to be in the way."

"No, Lily said it's fine," James assured him.

"I'll have to ask my mum," Peter said. "But I'll probably be able to come."

"Okay, cool," said James. "So Remus and Peter, you guys just owl me and let me know." He yawned. "I'm beat. I'm going to bed."

"Good idea," said Peter, climbing into his four-poster.

"See ya in the morning," Sirius said. "Bright and early for the trip home."

There was an audible groan from the four of them, and then silence as they drifted off to sleep.

The next day, after a long train ride, the Marauder's and Lily finally arrived at Kings Cross. They got off the train, and James and Sirius quickly found James's parents.

"Oh, hello darling," said Mrs. Potter, sweeping her son into a tight hug.

"Hi Mum," James managed to get out, as it seemed he was having a bit of trouble breathing

"Hello, Sirius," said Mr. Potter, clapping Sirius on the back. "How's the year been treating you?"

"Not bad," replied Sirius. "I'm just glad exams are done."

"I remember that feeling," laughed Mr. Potter. He turned his attention to James. "Well, son, how are those grades?"

"Fine, Dad," said James, sounding slightly annoyed.

The Potters and Sirius made their way through King's Cross Station, and as they went, they passed the Evanses.

"Hey, Lily!" called James. He turned to his parents. "That's Lily."

Lily walked over smiling with her parents in tow. "Hi," she said. "You must be James's parents." She held out her hand. "I'm Lily Evans."

"Hello, dear," said Mrs. Potter. "We've heard so much about you from James."

James's face reddened, but he didn't say anything.

Lily turned to her parents. "Mum, Dad, this is James Potter. James, these are my parents."

James stepped forward and shook Mr. Evans' hand. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Evans," he said.

From behind Mr. Evans walked a girl who looked to be about 19. She was thin and had blonde hair and a boney, horselike face. Her eyes narrowed and she eyed the Potters and Sirius warily, as though they were a bomb that might explode any second.

Lily frowned, but quickly covered it up with a smile. "James, Sirius, this is my sister...Petunia, James and Sirius."

Petunia frowned and surveyed the two boys with great dislike. James looked a little worried, probably out of the desire to make a good impression on Lily's family, but Sirius' face broke into a grin.

"Nice to meet you, Petunia," said Sirius in a deep, charming voice. "I don't recognize you...did you got to Hogwarts as well?"

Petunia wrinkled her nose as though she had stepped in something smelly. "No," she spat. "I'm attending Oxford."

"Oxford?" asked Sirius, who wasn't familiar with Muggle schools. "Is that in Scotland?"

The Evanses chuckled and Lily shot Sirius a death glare. Sirius shrugged and picked up his bags.

"We really should be going," said Mrs. Potter. "It was very nice meeting you. And Lily, will you be coming on Sunday?"

"Yes," replied Lily. "I'll be there around five."

"See you then," James said, pecking her on the cheek. The Potters turned and walked away, Sirius in tow.

By the time Sunday rolled around, the Potter manor was decked out for the holidays, the focal point being the 15-foot Christmas tree in the front window.

Lily arrived at the house shortly before five, brought by the ever lovely Petunia. Since dinner wasn't going to be served until six, James had time to give her a tour of the house.

"It's beautiful," Lily said as James took her coat in the front entry way. She gazed around the candle lit hall and the chandelier hanging from the ceiling. "You live here?"

"All my life," James replied, shrugging. He had never really thought much about it. "C'mon, I'll show you your room."

He grabbed Lily's hand and led her upstairs to a large guest room. In the middle of it was a queen sized, four-poster bed with navy blue curtains. On the far wall was a large stone fireplace, and to the right was a bathroom.

"You'll be sleeping here," he said. He set the bags he had carried up for her on the floor.

She looked around in awe. Then, a mischievous smile crept across her face. "Where's your room?"

James grinned. "Right this way," he said, leaving Lily's room and walking two doors down the hall. He opened the door and let her in.

James' room was much different from the room Lily was staying in. He had a large four poster as well, but the curtains on his bed were bright red. The walls were covered with posters of different Quidditch players, and in the corner was a specially made cabinet, which held his Cleansweep 4.

The room, which had been clean two days before, had since been strewn with James' dirty clothes. He hastily picked them up, then turned to Lily and smiled. "This is it," he said. "You can sit down," he said, gesturing towards the bed. "I won't bite."

"Not hard," said Lily, giving him a half smile. James grinned, and then sat down next to her.

"So, you didn't tell me you had a sister," he said quietly. He peered at her to see her reaction.

Lily shrugged. "Didn't come up."

"You've talked about your family before," James said. "I mean, she is part of it."

Lily looked at the floor. "Well obviously there wouldn't be much to say. From what you saw on Thursday, she doesn't much like me."

"Yeah, I did kind of get a weird vibe from her," James agreed.

Lily shook her head. "We used to get along really well. But after I got my Hogwarts letter...I dunno. She just started being so mean all the time. My mum says she was just hurt that I was going so far away, but it was never the same after that." Lily shook her head. "But it doesn't really matter anymore. I'm used to it now." She smiled at James. "So where's Sirius?"

James, who got the impression she didn't want to talk about her sister anymore, shrugged.

"No idea," he said. "I haven't seen him since lunch. He disappears like that sometimes."

"Where are your parents?" she asked, her eyes glinting.

James could see what she was getting at. "They had a luncheon to go to...they'll be back at six for dinner."

Lily scooted back a little further onto the bed. "So we're all alone?" she asked innocently.

James grinned, turning towards her. "Yeah, it looks that way."

"Well, I'm kinda tired," Lily said. "Do you mind if I lie down awhile before dinner?"

"I was actually planning to do the same," James replied. "You could just stay in here with me if you want...since you're already here."

"Oh, and it's such a long walk back to my room," Lily giggled.

"Yeah," said James, leaning towards her. "We wouldn't want to wear you out."

His face was just inches from hers, and she closed the gap, pushing herself up slightly so her lips met his. He kissed her back, and slowly eased her back onto his bed.

He moved on top of her and covered her body with his. She ran her hands through his messy hair, and he let his hands move down her sides to her hips.

Lily pulled away, then reached around and pulled the curtain on the bed closed. James smiled, and then moved to her neck, kissing down to her collar, while his hands crept up her sweater.

"Hey James!" came a voice from the hall right outside the bedroom door. "James, come here! You've gotta see this!"

James jerked back and hit his head on the headboard. "What?" he yelled, clearly annoyed that they had been interrupted

Lily sat up, looking what can only be described as pissed. She tore open the curtains and peered out into the room. "Dammit, Sirius," she cried. "What do you want?"

Sirius, who had been striding across the room, stopped. "Oh...hey Lily...I didn't know you were here." He looked in at the rest of the bed and saw James sitting there, rubbing his head. "Hey James...er, sorry."

But he didn't look very sorry. His expression, which he had tried to keep straight, cracked into a grin. "What were you two doing in here, all alone?" he asked. "Nothing you wouldn't want Mummy and Daddy to see, I hope."

James scowled, still rubbing his head where he had hit it. "Bugger off, mate," he said. "Now what was so important that you felt you needed to cause me pain?"

"Oh," said Sirius, and he laughed again. "Peter and Remus just got here. I was watching them come up the front walk, and Peter slipped on the ice and took a nose dive into that giant slush puddle by the steps."

James laughed in spite of himself. "That moron," he said. "He's always hurting himself.

James, Lily, and Sirius got downstairs just as Peter and Remus were walking through the front door. Just as Sirius had said, Peter looked as though he had fallen into the puddle. The front of his robes was soaked, and his face was dripping wet.

"You better change, Peter," said James, grinning. "You're dripping all over the floor, and my mum's not gonna be happy if she comes home and sees it."

Peter made his way up the stairs, shivering and grumbling, and the other four went into the dining room. The table was already loaded with food for dinner. Now they just had to wait for Mr. and Mrs. Potter to get home.

"How long until your mum and dad get back?" asked Sirius, looking longingly at the food. "I'm starving."

"They should be back any minute," said James. Just then, they heard the front door open. They made their way back into the entry way and saw James's parents stomping the snow off their boots.

"That snow is really coming down out there," said Mr. Potter. "Just in time for Christmas."

"We're glad you're home," said James.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, can we eat now?"

"Yes, of course," said Mrs. Potter, walking towards the dining room. "But where's Peter?"

"He had to go upstairs and change," Lily replied.

"Yeah," James snickered. "He had an accident."

James, Sirius, Lily, Remus, and the Potters made their way into the dining room and sat down at the table. They had just settled in when Peter came into the dining room, his clothes fresh and dry. When he had sat down, they all dug into the food.

No one talked much at dinner, as they were all very hungry, but afterwards they all went into the large front room and sat around the Christmas tree.

They asked how school had been going, and they asked Peter, Remus, and Lily how their families were.

Peter muttered something about his mum, and Remus said his parents were out for the night at his aunt and uncle's Christmas party.

"My parents are home for the night," Lily replied. "They said it would be nice to relax a bit before the stress of the holidays. My sister and I are both out tonight."

"Where is darling Petunia tonight?" asked Sirius, rolling his eyes.

"She's out with her boyfriend," replied Lily, scrunching her nose.

"She has a boyfriend?" asked James incredulously. "Who'd wanna date her?"

"James!" said Mrs. Potter sternly. "Mind you manners."

"Oh, it's okay, Mrs. Potter," said Lily. "I don't like my sister much." She turned to James. "He's this fat bloke named Vernon...I dunno, they've been dating a few months. Petunia seems to like him, though mum and dad don't approve of his temper."

"I'm just glad it's not me dating her," said Sirius.

"Well, you get to see her tomorrow," Lily said. "She's picking us up and taking us to my house for dinner."

They spent the rest of the night in the front room, talking about holiday plans and school. By the time Sirius, James, Lily, Peter, and Remus went upstairs, it was nearly midnight.

The boys headed for their separate rooms, and James walked Lily to hers. He leaned down and kissed her good night.

"Night," he said, grinning.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," Lily replied with a wink.

James went to his room, stripped down to his boxers, and climbed into bed. He lay awake, staring at the ceiling for a long time. He had just started to drift off when he felt someone slip into his bed. He opened his eyes and grinned when he saw Lily next to him.

"It's about time," he said. "I was falling asleep."

"Sorry," Lily whispered. "I just wanted to wait long enough for your parents to fall asleep. I don't really think they'd be too pleased if they caught me in your bed."

"Well then that's where I differ from them," James said, moving closer to Lily. "Because I am very pleased you're in my bed." He leaned forward and kissed her, pulling her to him.

James let his hands wander up her tee shirt and was very happy to find that she was braless. He hated those damn clips. He worked the shirt up her back, and she pulled out of the kiss so he could pull it off over her head.

He kissed her again, and she rolled so she was on top of him straddling his hips. Her long hair fell in his face like a curtain and he pulled her body down onto his.

Lily moved her lips from his to his neck, moving down his body until she was at the waistband of his boxers. James held his breath as she moved her mouth back and forth across his stomach, but let out a frustrated growl when she moved back up.

Lily grinned. "Be patient," she whispered, kissing him again. "You'll get what you want."

James pulled Lily to him again, and then flipped so she was on her back and he was on top. He did what she had done, moving down her body, teasing her on the way. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, waiting, but instead of moving back up as she had done, James slipped her shorts off, revealing that she was also missing her panties.

"You have a severe lack of clothing tonight," James said, looking up at her.

"Yeah, well, I figured I'd make it easy for you." She grinned. "Merry Christmas."

James smiled and slid her shorts the rest of the way off her legs. He kissed up her legs and onto her stomach. She opened her eyes and glared at him, but he just raised his eyebrows. "What happened to 'be patient'?" he asked.

Her eyes narrowed, but she didn't say anything. James kissed his way back up her naked body, pressing himself against her again. Lily opened her legs, and James moved between them, only the cloth of his boxers blocking him from what he wanted.

Lily slid her hands down the back of his boxers and slid them down. James kicked them off quickly, and then looked at Lily expectantly.

"I cast the spell before I left my room," she said. "I didn't want to bring my wand with me."

James grinned down at her and kissed her again, settling his body between her legs. She groaned and moved her hips, but James decided to tease her a little bit. He moved against her, making her moan, then reached down and slid his finger into her. She gasped, and moved her hips again, but he pulled it out quickly.

Lily opened her eyes and looked up at him with a glint in her eyes. "We're gonna play it like this, are we?" she asked.

James shrugged, and then gasped as Lily reached down and grabbed him, smiling evilly.

"I can play this game too," she whispered. She moved her hand back and forth, and he groaned. He should have known she'd do this. He tried to move his hips down to her, but she shoved him away.

"No," she said. "You wanted to play, we're gonna play."

"I wanna play the real game now, though," James said. He kissed her lightly on the lips as she continued to move her hand just enough to torture him. "Please?"

Lily moved her hand to his back and pushed him so he was on his back. Then she climbed on top of him and moved her hips over his, rubbing herself against him. James groaned and grabbed her hips. Lily grinned, then moved her hips up and let James slide into her. She leaned down to brace herself, then began to move herself up and down on him. James kept his hands on her hips and moved her faster. She closed her eyes and he watched her move on him, thrusting up to meet her hips, until he felt her come. She cried out, then gave her shaking arms a break and collapsed on him.

James kissed her hair and neck, and the rolled her over so he was on top. He moved him her, and she moaned again. He moved faster and Lily's hands clutched at him. He felt her come again, and this time he came with her. He lay down on her and kissed her as their breathing slowed. Lily's arms fell limply onto the bed and James pulled out of her, rolling off so he was next to her.

Lily turned to face him and James closed his eyes, completely exhausted. He felt Lily kiss his forehead and move closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her and she settled against his chest, sighing softly. He tangled his legs with hers, and without saying a word, they both drifted off to sleep.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter! I hope you didn't mind the bit of smut in this chapter…if you did, I promise they aren't all like this. I'm going to try to get the next chapter up by the end of the week. Please read and review!


	3. Chapter 3: Christmas Eve

Disclaimer: Everything from the _Harry Potter _series belongs to JK Rowling. I'm only borrowing it.

**Chapter 3: Christmas Eve**

It was the sunlight coming through the window in the morning that woke James. He blinked twice, and then wondered what the Hell he was holding onto. He looked down and saw a naked Lily, fast asleep. He grinned to himself, remembering, but then he jumped. He hadn't meant to fall asleep. If Lily got caught in his bed, they were both dead.

He looked quickly at his clock and sighed with relief when he saw that it was only 7. His parents wouldn't be up until at least 9. He settled back down with Lily and kissed her forehead.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at him. She smiled for a second, and then looked scared. She looked around wildly for the clock, and James laughed.

"Settle down," he said. "We've got a couple hours yet before my parents wake up."

"Are you sure?" she asked. She started to get out of the bed. James was enjoying the view until she said, "Maybe I should go back to my own room."

"No," James said, grabbing her hand and pulling her back down. "I'm sure. Just stay here with me."

"I swear James, if I get caught in here..."

"You won't," James interrupted her. "They won't wake until later, trust me." He smiled at her. "Besides, you can't leave yet. I have a present for you."

This seemed to have distracted her. "A present?" she asked, smiling. "But Christmas isn't until tomorrow."

"I know," James said. "But I want to give it to you now, when it's just us."

"Oh," Lily said. "Okay." She looked very curious. "What is it?"

James climbed out of bed and walked over to his dresser. He opened the top drawer and pulled out a small package wrapped in red paper. He came back over to Lily and handed to her, then climbed back into bed next to her.

Lily opened the package carefully and revealed a long, white box with hinges on the back. She opened it and inside was a delicate white gold chain with a charm on it. It was the outline of a heart, with a small diamond filling in the center. She stared at it for a few seconds, before turning to him.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "I love it."

"Good," said James, genuinely relieved. He had gone shopping for it himself and had been a bit nervous about buying a present for a girl. "I have one more present for you, but you don't get that one until later."

She nodded and looked back down at the necklace. She pulled it out and clasped it around her neck. Then she leaned forward and kissed him. "You can have your present later too."

James peered at her throat at the necklace, grinning. "Looks nice…especially when it's all you're wearing…"

After another round in bed, Lily got up and put her clothes on, much to James's disappointment. But it was getting later, and he figured it was probably better if she got back to her own room.

Lily walked back to her room, smiling the whole way. She hadn't expected the necklace and she was pleasantly surprised, to say the least. She showered in the bathroom, and then dressed to go to breakfast. When she got there, James was already at the table, along with Remus and Peter.

"Where's Sirius?" she asked.

"Oh, he never gets up until at least 11," James replied. "He's a bit lazy."

"Well Petunia's coming to get us at noon, so I hope he's ready," Lily said. "She's not going to want to wait."

"I'd better wake him up at 10 then," James said. He chuckled. "He likes to make sure he looks good."

Lily rolled her eyes and sat down at the table. It was once again loaded with food, but this time it was breakfast food. She filled her plate with eggs, bacon, and toast, and poured herself some orange juice. She was surprised at how hungry she felt, but then figured it was to be expected.

They lounged around the large house for the rest of the morning. By the time Sirius finally came downstairs, it was ten to twelve. Luckily he seemed ready to go, because Lily really didn't want to deal with Petunia's bitching.

When Petunia did arrive, she didn't come to the door. Instead, she sat in her car by the road and honked the horn. Lily thought it was rude, but it didn't surprise her.

"Thank you for having us," Lily said politely to the Potters. "The food was wonderful."

"I'm glad," said Mrs. Potter. "How was your room? Did you sleep well?"

Lily suppressed a giggle, and James, who was standing behind his mother, grinned. "Yes, I slept fine," she replied.

"Well, you're welcome back anytime, dear," Mrs. Potter said. "And that goes for the rest of you too," she said, speaking now to Peter, Remus, and Sirius. "We love having you here."

The five of them said good by to James's parents and walked out to Petunia's car, careful not to slip into the puddle. The loaded their things into the trunk and the four boys crammed into the back seat while Lily took the front.

The drive to Lily's took about an hour. It was rather uncomfortable in the car, as Petunia's stuffy presence seemed to create a cold atmosphere. James was stuck between Sirius and Remus, and Peter was on Remus's other side. It was cramped, but he didn't dare complain.

They drove through a small town, which Lily told them she and her family lived on the edge of.

"Petunia, do Mum and Dad know we're coming this early?" Lily asked her sister.

"No," replied Petunia. "I haven't talked to them since yesterday."

"You didn't see them this morning?" Lily asked.

Petunia shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Well, no. I wasn't home this morning."

Lily didn't press any further, but James knew what was up. He gave Sirius a side glance and saw that he was looking sick.

When they got to the end of town, Petunia turned onto a narrow gravel road, which turned out to be the Evans' driveway. They drove up a steep hill.

"We live just at the top," Lily said, turning in her seat to face the guys in the back.

"Hey Lils," James said, "do you think your parents would care if...hey...Sirius, what's wrong?"

Sirius's face had gone pale and his eyes were wide and scared looking. Everyone in the car looked at him, and then James looked up and followed his gaze. He felt himself go numb, and the blood drained from his face.

Above Lily's house, made up of what looked like emerald stars, was the shape of a skull with a snake protruding from its mouth. James felt as though his heart had stopped, and he watched as Lily turned in what seemed like slow motion to look at her house.

The curious look on her face transformed into one of confusion, and then horror. Her eyes widened and her hands flew to her mouth. Petunia was looking at her strangely.

"What' is it?" she asked. "What's your problem?"

"Stop," Lily said through her hands. Her face was white and her body had frozen up. The only part of her that was moving was her eyes as she scanned the yard. "Stop the car."

Petunia pulled over the car. James and Sirius jumped out, wands ready, while Lily climbed slowly out of the front. Her eyes were on the Dark Mark, and she was swaying. James grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eye, but she didn't look back.

"Lily, stay here," he said. "Sirius and I are gonna go in. You stay here, okay?"

She seemed to snap out of whatever trance she was in, and she looked at James. "No," she said. "James, no." She looked back at the house. "They could still be in there."

"That's why you have to stay here," he said. "Make sure Petunia doesn't leave." He looked over the car at Peter and Remus. "Stay here with them. Don't move. Keep your wands out and your eyes open." He turned to Sirius, who was looking at Lily. "C'mon."

"They could be okay, right?" Lily asked faintly as she stared. "Maybe they got away..."

James doubted it, but he couldn't tell Lily that. He just kissed her forehead, then turned and walked with Sirius towards the house.

"There's no way," Sirius said when they were out of ear shot. "They're Muggles...there's no way they're still-"

"I know," James said. "We'd better just hope the Death Eaters are gone." He knew his legs were moving, but he didn't know how because he didn't feel them. He felt like he was standing in place and the house itself was moving towards him.

The front door was ajar. Sirius stepped foward and pushed it open slowly. James looked back at the others in the road. Petunia was pale, and Remus was standing with his arm around Lily. Lily was watching them, her hands clutching the car she was leaning on.

The two boys walked into the house, trying to keep their footsteps quiet. James looked around the entry way. There was a large cabinet against the wall that had apparently had a mirror, but the glass was now shattered and shards of it were strewn across the floor. Their shoes crunched over it as they moved further into the house.

The next room they came to appeared to be the living room, but it had been torn apart. There was a large green couch in the middle of the room that had been completely flipped over. There was a Muggle lamp shattered on the floor, and one of the windows had been broken. On the mantle of the fireplace was a cracked picture of the family.

"James," Sirius said quietly. James turned to see Sirius knelt on the floor, peering under the couch. "There's something under here." Sirius looked up, his face sick looking. "Help me lift it."

James walked over and grabbed one side of the couch. "Okay," he said. "1...2...3...LIFT!" he grunted as he pulled back on the couch. He squeezed his eyes shut as he lifted and opened them when it was upright again. He instantly wished he hadn't.

Lying on the floor was Lily's father. He was sprawled on his back, and his eyes were wide and vacant. James's stomach lurched and he looked away.

Sirius stood and stared at Mr. Evans, his eyes flaring. The only time James had ever seen him that angry before had been when he's shown up at the Potter's last summer after leaving home. His fists were clenched and James was almost sure he would explode.

"Sirius," James said softly. "C'mon. Maybe Mrs. Evans is okay...we should find her."

He pulled Sirius away from the couch and they went across the entryway into the kitchen. The table in the room had been over turned and a leg was broken off, and there were burn marks on the walls where spells had obviously hit. James's heart leapt when he saw Mrs. Evans sitting in the corner of the kitchen on the floor with her head leaning against the counter. She was staring blankly ahead, but she was breathing and obviously alive.

"Mrs. Evans!" he cried, rushing forward to her. She made no movements, didn't even acknowledge his presence. He knelt down beside her. "Mrs. Evans, I'm so glad you're okay. You remember me, I'm James...Mrs. Evans...?"

She wasn't even looking at him. Everyone once in awhile she would blink, but she didn't even seem to notice that James was there. At first he was confused, and he didn't understand what was going on until Sirius said it.

"Dementors," he muttered.

James looked up at Sirius in shock and horror. "You don't think...no," he said, looking back down at Lily's mother. She still hadn't moved. James stood and backed away slowly. He felt his blood begin to boil. Those bastards had come and killed Lily's father and completely destroyed her mother. They had left her soulless. He looked away from Mrs. Evans and out the kitchen window.

"We should go back out. They're probably wondering what's happened."

Sirius nodded and turned away, walking from the kitchen. James followed, looking back once at Mrs. Evans, hoping maybe she would make some sort of movement or gesture to show that she was still in the body on the floor. But she was in the same position she had been in when they had come in, and was still staring at the same place on the floor.

James and Sirius walked slowly and solemnly from the house. They moved across the yard and back towards the street. Lily was watching for them, and as soon as she saw them come out alone, she pulled away from Remus and ran to them.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice shaking. "Where are they?"

James couldn't say it. He just looked at Lily as she looked back at him, her eyes searching his wildly. Sirius stepped past them and walked back to the car, leaving James alone with Lily. She bit her lip, still looking him in the eye. "James, tell me. A-Are they okay? Tell me they're okay."

James couldn't do this to her. He couldn't be the one to tell her that her father was dead, and that her mother was worse off than that. But Sirius had left him. He looked down at Lily, but he couldn't find his voice to tell her, so he just shook his head.

Lily bit down hard on her lip, stepped back from him and turned. Her face contorted as she let out a terrible scream and fell. James caught her under the arms and lowered her to the ground slowly. Lily brought her knees up to her face and buried her head in them as she clawed and pulled at her hair. James knelt next to her and put his arms around her, but she didn't notice.

Over by the car, Sirius was talking to Remus and Peter. Remus looked like he was going to be sick, and Peter was pale and shaking. Petunia was standing by the front of her car, frozen as she watched her sister.

It took a long time to calm Lily, but by the time Ministry Officials arrived, she had fallen quiet. She was sitting in the back seat of the car with the door open, and James crouched in front of her, telling her what had happened.

"Dementors...?" Lily asked. "But I've never heard of them. What are they?"

"They guard Azkaban...you know, the wizard prison. At least, they used to. But they've fallen into league with Voldemort since his rise to power." James looked up and noticed that Petunia was listening from a few feet away, but he continued anyway. "They feed off of the happiness of people. When they're around, all you can think about are the bad things that have happened to you. They make you remember horrible things…"

Lily frowned. "But you said one of them kissed my...my mum. Why would it kiss her?"

James clenched his teeth. "A Dementors Kiss is pretty much the most dreaded thing in the wizarding world. When a Dementor kisses someone, they're really...well, they're sucking that person's soul out...through their mouth." He said the last part very softly.

"H-her soul?" Lily asked, her voice shaking. "She lost her soul?"

James nodded. "Yeah, it looks that way."

"But how do you know?" Lily asked. She seemed to be in denial about it. "How can you tell that her soul is gone?"

"When I saw her and called out to her, she didn't respond. She just stared. She was breathing, she was alive...but she didn't even seem to know I was there..." he trailed off.

"You mean she was still alive when you went in?" Lily asked, sounding hopeful.

"Well...yeah, sort of," James said. "Her body is alive."

"Well then can't we go get it back?" asked Lily quickly.

"Her soul?" asked James.

"Yes, her soul…we could get the Dementor who took it and get it back!"

James shook his head sadly. "Once someone has been kissed, it's irreversible. She'll never recover."

Just then, the healers who had come from St. Mungo's came out of Lily's house. They had Mrs. Evans on a floating stretcher. Lily jumped out of the car and ran over.

"Mum," she cried, looking down at her mother. "Mum, can you hear me?"

James followed Lily and tried to pull her away, but she shoved him back. She grabbed her mother by the shoulders and shook her. "Mum!" she yelled into her mother's face.

"Mum, please say something. Look at me! LOOK AT ME!"

But Mrs. Evans's face remained blank, and the healers moved on, leaving Lily alone to crumple into the snow.

James knelt down next to Lily and rubbed her back. "Love, we should go."

Lily looked up at him, and then at her house. "No," she replied, suddenly looking frantic. "We can't just leave…dinner…we can't leave…"

"It's not safe," James said reasonably. "They could come back for you, or for Petunia. We really should leave."

Lily bit her lip and nodded. "Okay," she whispered. "Let's go."

James helped her stand, and together they walked back to where Remus, Peter, Sirius and Petunia were waiting. As they moved towards the others, Petunia's face darkened, and she began to shake her head.

"You…you stay away from me."

Lily looked at her sister, her expression tired and confused. "What?"

"You stay away from me!" Petunia cried, moving around to the other side of the car. "This is _all your fault_!"

Lily stopped walking and stared at her sister, horrified. "Petunia…"

"I'm leaving," she sobbed as she opened her car door. "I'm going away…Vernon and I are getting married. I was going to tell everyone tonight, but because of _you_, Mum and Dad will never know that!" She climbed into the car, and before she closed the door, she screamed one last thing to her sister.

"_THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, LILY!_"

Lily stood in the driveway and watched her sister drive away with a stunned expression on her face. James wrapped his arms around her.

"Lily-" he began, but she cut him off.

"She's right," she whispered. "She's right."

"_No_, Lily," James said through gritted teeth. He turned Lily towards him and held her by the shoulders, looking her straight in the eyes. "In _no way_ is this your fault."

But Lily's eyes scrunched shut, and she began to shake with sobs. She didn't say a word, she just let the tears stream down her face.

James looked at the other three Marauders. Remus looked peaky and concerned, Peter looked terrified, and Sirius just shrugged as if to say _I dunno, mate._ James turned back to Lily and decided to try to get her to move towards his friends. It proved to be surprisingly easy; she didn't seem to have anything left in her to keep her where she was.

"We have to figure out a way to get home," James said, realizing that their ride had just sped off down the hill.

"My dad…we can take his car," Lily sputtered between hiccups.

"Where is it?" James asked.

Lily pointed at the house. "In the garage. The keys should be in it."

The five teenagers started towards the garage, but Sirius stopped them halfway there.

"Er, I hate to be the bringer of more bad news, but do any of us know how to _drive _the car?"

They all looked at each other. The Marauders all came from wizarding families, and had therefore had little experience with vehicles, and Lily…

"I'll drive it," Lily declared.

"Lily, you're really not in any condition to be driving-" Remus started.

"I said I'll drive it." Her tears had seemed to clear momentarily, and Lily started to walk towards the garage again, but turned back when no one was following her. "Do any of you have any better ideas?"

None of them did, so they followed Lily into the garage and piled into the car.

A/N: I know, I know, that was sad and kind of unexpected…but death sometimes is, right? Okay, now I'm about to make you even more sad; I'm going on spring break this whole next week, and since all of my writing is on my computer at school and I have very limited access to ours at home (my mom's a bit of an EBay freak) I'm not going to be able to post again until I get back on the 20th. But I can tell you I'm already nearly done with the next chapter, so it won't be long at all after I come back before it's posted. Please read and review, it's what fuels me!


	4. Promises and Vows

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all of the characters belong to JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing them.

**Chapter 4: Promises and Vows**

The drive back to the Potters' was deadly silent. Peter, Sirius and Remus sat in the backseat, and James sat up front with Lily. He kept his hand on her knee the whole ride back, but she didn't seem to notice. She stared determinedly at the road and gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turned white. James glanced at her every few minutes, his face attentive and concerned; he could see she was fighting to concentrate and not to cry.

It only took 40 minutes to get back to James's house. He wasn't sure if it was because Lily was simply a faster driver than her sister, or because she was trying so hard to hide the fact that her mind was racing, but James suspected the latter. When she parked the car, he climbed out of the front seat and walked around to the driver's side. Lily hadn't moved to get out, so James opened her door.

"Come on, Lils…it won't do to stay in the car." He reached for her arm and she let him help her out of her seat. She walked around the back of the car to the trunk and pulled her overnight bag out, which James took from her and slung over his shoulder.

Mrs. Potter came out the front door looking baffled. "What are you doing back so soon?" she called to James.

"I'll explain, Prongs" Sirius said as he nodded reassuringly at James. "You just get her upstairs."

"Thanks, mate," James said, and he led Lily to the front door as Sirius approached Mrs. Potter. James looked back as they walked through the front door and saw his mother's hands fly to her mouth, her eyes wide in horror.

Lily sat on her bed when they reached her room, and James set her bag on the floor.

"Are you hungry at all?" he asked tentatively.

Lily shook her head, staring unseeingly in front of her.

"Thirsty?"

"No."

James sat next to her on the bed and put his hand on her lower back. "Do you wanna lie down for a bit?"

Lily looked up at him and nodded.

"Okay then…lie back and I'll tuck you in." James stood as Lily scooted back onto the bed and laid her head on the pillow. He bent down and kissed her forehead, and her green eyes looked up at him.

"Will you stay with me?" she asked, her voice cracking.

James gave her a small smile. "Of course, Love." He climbed onto the bed and lay down next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.

"James?" she whispered.

"Hm?" he murmured, pulling back to look at her.

"What am I going to do?" She bit her lip and her eyes shone with tears. "I've got nothing left."

"Don't say that," James replied, smoothing her hair back from her face. "You've got me. I'm going to take care of you, I promise."

Lily let her tears fall on the pillow and a sob escaped her. She buried her face in James's shoulder, and he held her close while she cried.

"I'll always take care of you."

Lily surprised James as the next few days went on. Despite her initial shock and breakdown after the death of her father, and permanent incapacitation of her mother, she had soon pulled herself together and took all of the arrangements into her own hands.

After a quiet and somber Christmas morning at the Potters', James and Lily had taken a trip to St. Mungo's. Mrs. Evans was there, and Lily wanted to make sure she stayed there. The last thing she needed was for her mother to be moved to a Muggle hospital, or worse, and institution. The Muggles wouldn't know what to do with her, and Lily pictured terrible experiments being done to figure it out; at least at St. Mungos they knew nothing could be done to heal her, and that all they could do was make sure she was fed and sheltered until her body died.

Lily had signed papers and forms stating that she was entrusting her mother's care to the healers of St. Mungo's and she was not to be moved elsewhere without Lily's permission. Although Mrs. Evans was not a witch, her daughter was and since her injuries were magical, she was permitted to reside there.

James's parents had offered to pay for the funeral, since the Evanses, though not poor, had not left their daughters with much to get by on in the event of their deaths. Lily had thanked them profusely, and then single-handedly planned her father's funeral. James had gone with her when she went to the funeral home and chose a casket, but Lily handled everything herself. She had chosen a plot in a cemetery not far from her home, and she chose one for her mother as well.

"Hopefully she won't be here for much longer," Lily had said, looking at the ground that would soon encase her father's body. "She shouldn't have to live like that…I just want her to be at peace."

A lawyer had shown up at the door the day after Christmas and informed Lily that she needed to return to her home. The house had been left to Petunia, but she was putting it up for sale, so Lily needed to get all of her belongings out.

The trip hadn't been as bad as James had imagined it would be. Lily had cried when she'd seem the inside of the house in shambles, but she had packed her things quickly; James suspected that she hadn't wanted to stay there longer than necessary. One the way out, she had stopped to take one last look around and grabbed the cracked picture of the family from the floor. She hadn't looked at it; instead she tucked it away into one of her bags. James had a feeling that it would stay hidden, and that Lily would be looking at it alone later.

Lily had attempted to contact Petunia to let her know when the funeral would be, and to tell her that she hoped Petunia would come, but it had turned into a very messy run-in with Petunia's fiancée, Vernon. He had told her in very rude terms that Petunia would not be attending the funeral and that Lily was not to contact them again. They wanted nothing to do with "Lily's sort of people" and were planning to stay far away from her. This phone call had led to another breakdown, and James had spent several hours in Lily's bedroom with her, consoling her and telling her that none of this was her fault, that her sister was just ignorant and would regret it someday.

Now, on December 28, James stood beside Lily at the graveside service for her father. Though Peter and Remus had returned home shortly after arriving at the Potter's on Christmas Eve, Sirius had stayed at James's and was also attending the funeral. He stood to the right of Lily, and James was on her left.

She wasn't crying, but her green eyes were filled with sorrow and they had lost their sparkle. She had on a black skirt, nylons, a headband, and shoes, and a gray wool pea-coat, and she looked smaller than usual, though James wasn't sure why. The only color on her was her eyes, which stood out on her pale face, and her dark red hair, which was lightly sprinkled with the snow that had begun falling only minutes earlier.

James took her hand a squeezed it. Lily looked up at him and squeezed back, but looked away when the minister began to speak.

"We are gathered here today to remember Richard Phillip Evans. He was born…"

James looked around at the other people there. Although there weren't many, the ones who were there all looked genuinely upset by the situation. Lily had introduced James to her father's boss and his wife earlier when they had come to give her their condolences. They had also handed her an envelope, which Lily had politely slid into her pocket. They were standing on the other side of the casket now, both of them pale. James knew that Lily had told everyone that her father had suffered a heart attack, and that her mother had endured a nervous breakdown as a result. It was all Muggles, and she knew they wouldn't understand the truth.

Lily remained solemn throughout the service, not shedding one tear. When it was ending, she stepped forward and threw the rose she had been holding onto the casket, as did the pallbearers and James and Sirius. They had barely known Mr. Evans, having only met him once, but Lily had asked them to do it. The casket was lowered into the ground, and Lily threw the first handful of dirt into the hole, her face set as she fought tears.

When the service was over, the small crowd dissipated. Several people came up to Lily to tell her how sorry they were, and to ask about her mother. She explained that her mother was at a spa recovering and hadn't felt she could handle the funeral. The people had nodded sympathetically and moved on, and James had seen in Lily's face how much she hated to lie to the people who meant well.

Eventually it was only Lily, James and Sirius left in the cemetery. Lily stood next to the pile of dirt which covered her father and stared at it, her eyes flashing in anger.

"Lily, are you alright?" James asked her quietly.

"No," she replied. "No, I'm not."

James stood next to her and looked at the grave. It didn't have a headstone; they weren't putting one in until the spring.

"It's going to be okay," James whispered. "I promise you'll be okay."

"He ripped my entire family from me," Lily said bitterly.

"I know, Love," James said quietly. He glanced at Sirius, who was standing back a bit, his eyes sad and concerned.

"He took so much in the single wave of a wand, in the Kiss of a dementor. Even my sister hates me." She bit her lip hard. "I should have been there to protect them. It was me he wanted."

"No, Lily…it's not your f-"

"It is, though, James," she cut him off. "He came looking for me, he didn't care about them. If I had been there, I could have held him off, and they could have escaped." She narrowed her eyes. "He wanted me because I'm a Mudblood; they could have gotten away."

"Lily, stop," Sirius said angrily. "You blaming yourself isn't going to help anything!"

Lily spun to face Sirius, her face contorted in an agonized rage. "Don't start with me, Sirius! You have no idea what it feels like to know you're the reason your family has been destroyed! I know I can't go through my life letting this define me, I know it's not going to bring them back, but I'll never be able to forget that they're gone because of me!"

Sirius shook his head, but didn't reply, and Lily turned back to the grave.

"No more," she said, setting her jaw determinedly. "Voldemort will never take something I love again, not without a fight. _Never_. I'm going to make sure of that."

The bedroom was so spacious that even five suitcases, two trunks and a duffel bag didn't clutter it at all. Lily sat on the edge of her bed and stared at them, wondering why she had bothered to pack all of this. She couldn't take it to Hogwarts; she was only allowed one trunk. Mrs. Potter had told her she could keep them here, in this bedroom, but Lily felt dumb. She didn't have a home to put all of her things in, so why bother having them?

She stood and walked over to the duffel bag. It was holding all of her toiletries, and all she wanted to do was brush her teeth and go to bed. She found her toothbrush and was about to walk down the hall to the bathroom when she saw something peeking out from under her bottle of shampoo. She dug in the bag and pulled it out. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she looked at the picture in the frame.

It had been taken the year before. Her parents had wanted a professional photo of the family taken before Petunia left for college. Lily looked at the faces of her family, faces more familiar than any others she knew. Faces she would never see again.

Lily set the picture on her dresser, dropped her toothbrush on the floor and stood against the wall, sliding down to the floor and curling up as small as she could to cry.

A/N: Once again, I'm sorry for the wait while I was on break. I'm also sorry this chapter is a bit short, but I've started working on chapter 5, "Midnight Musings," and I'll get that up as soon as I can. I've got two exams this week and my boyfriend is coming to visit, but I'll do my best. Please review! I want to know you're out there!


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